JOke Box ( Who needs prayers ?)

Who needs prayers ?

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male alking Parrots, and the female parrots say, " Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!! !!!"

*******

Joke Box (Jokes to laugh)

Jokes to laugh

A man speaks frantically into the phone,

"My wife is pregnant , and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot !" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

************ ***

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results.

They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE?

What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

************ ***

"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"

"Yes, of course..."

"Great! I never could before!"

************ ***

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there.

The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.

"The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?"

And the man replies, "No, just spots."

************ ***

Going to Propose a Girl ?

Going to Propose a Girl ?

Here are the top most reply of a girl, when you propose her...

1) Nahi........ ......... ???

2) Chiiiii..... Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare..... ..

3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....

4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....

5) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...

6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....

7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai…??

8) Magar last year to Maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya. .??

9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....

10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu…??

11) Itni is baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??

12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!

13) Sorry

14) "……Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai….. L…………………………… "

15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"

16) "Yes .. I too like you … (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " … (Which we guys most oftenly do )

17) Phele kyon nahi bataya AB tum late ho gaye ..

18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.

19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki… (probably followed by a slap)

20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do… Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)Girl: saat janam

21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)

22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon…

23) Now that's a real tragedy….Girl: Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee…… Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……

24) Boy: I love U!Gal: I don't think ABT all this before marriage.

25) Keep loving I don't care.

26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho…

27) Kaun as number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein. Ha ha ha ha….

28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi

29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi

30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi

31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge

32) Knyo, Tina NE "No" bola?

33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?

34) Kitne time ke liye -???

35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..

36) Thanks. I love you, too.

37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U…..
Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai….

38) "What?"

39) "Let's just stay away from this"

40) My friend in college got one classic reply … "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"

41) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."

42)Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring, phir bhi nahi sudhare then she threatens via some common friends.

43) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.

44) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this…cant we be just good friends for ever

45) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot. ..

46) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.) ..

47) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down all the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. ...

48) SLAP !! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said ..

49)hehe I didn't expect that from you....

50)nice joke ...

51)tum ladke kuchh or nahi soch sakte jaha ladki dekhi fisal gaye.....

52)achha tum bhi meine socha sirf harsh,nikhil, ravi, etc etc ko hi mujhme interest hai ..... And then walks on.......... ...

53)tumhe to purpose karna bhi nahi aata.... Peheli bari hai kya?? Koi baat nahi mein batati Hun ???...

*******

Laut aao!

Laut aao!

Shabnami Raat suhaani hai, laut aao!

Aik ghazal tum ko sunaani hai, laut aao!

Phir nayaa khwaab daikhna hai seher honay tak,

Phir nayee shamaa jalaani hai, laut aao!

Naa main barbaad hui hoon, naa ruswaa tum,

Naa-mukammal ye kahaani hai, laut aao!

Tum se mil kar he main bicchrroon, koi laaz'mi to nahi,

Phir bhi ek rasm nibhaani hai, Laut Aao...! !!

******

HOW HAPPY IS LIFE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND

HOW HAPPY IS LIFE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND ;-)


1. You can stare at any Girl.......


************ *


2. You don't have to spend money on her.


************ *


3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.


************ *


4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.


************ *


5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.


************ *


6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.


************ *


7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.


************ *


8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.


************ *


9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.


************ *


10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.


************ *

11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.


************ *


12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.


************ *


13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.


************ *


14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.


************ *


15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.


************ *


16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend with ur folks.


************ *


17. No nonstop nonsense.


************ *


18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.


************ *


19. No tension.


************ *


20. You can be "urself"


************ *


21. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.....


************ *

Kab kaun kisi ka hota hai

Kab kaun kisi ka hota hai
Sub jhootey rishtey naate hain...

Sub dil rakhney ki batein hain
Sub asal roop chhupate hain...

Ikhlaq se khali log yahan
Lafzon ke teer chalate hain...

I baar nigahon mein aakar
Phir saari umar rulate hain...

Who jis NE diye hain ashk humein
AB us ko bhool hi jaate hain...

******

*LITTLE BOBBY ( Confessions of a Kid )*

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell hismother what he wanted.

Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for hisbirthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for yourbirthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God aletter.



**************


Letter 1


Dear God,


I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for mybirthday.

I want a red one.

Your friend,

Bobby



**************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,

So he tore up the letter and started over.


**************

Letter 2

Dear God,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like

A red bike for my birthday.

Thank you.

Your friend,

Bobby


**************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either.

So, he tore up the letter andstarted again.


**************


Letter 3

Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my
birthday.

Bobby


**************


Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote afourth letter.


**************

Letter 4

God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.

I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please!

Thank you,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him abike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that hewanted to go to church.

Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.

Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.

He looked around to see if anyone was there.

Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.

He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down thestreet, into the house, and up to his room.

He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Bobby began to write his letter to God.



**************


Letter 5

God,I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THEBIKE!!!!!


**************

*Maine kaha** ...*

Masoom is mohabbat ka bus itna as fasana hai..

Kagaj ki haveli hai, baarish ka zamaana hai..


Kya shart-e-mohabbat hai, kya shart-e-zamana hai..

Awaz bhi jakhmi hai aur wo geet bhi gana hai..


Uss per utrne ki umeed bahut kam hai..

Kashti bhi puraani hai, tufaan bhi aana hai..


Samajhe ya na samjhe wo andaaz-e-mohabbat ka..

Bheegi hui ankho se ek sher sunaana hai..


Bholi is Ada, koi fir ishq ki jid par hai..

Fir aag ka dariya hai.. Aur doob hi jana hai

Pappu Pass Ho Gaya

************ *****

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?

PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO ! "!!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?

PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?

PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L" T

EACHER : No, that's wrong

PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".

PAPPU : I is...

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."

PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

************ *****

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of " COINCIDENCE?"

PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

************ *****

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

************ *****

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?

PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

************ *****

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !

PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

************ *****

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to , my mom is a good cook.

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as yourbrother's. Did you copy his ?

PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

************ ****

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

PAPPU: A teacher

************ ****

Usne kaha Mujh se kitna Pyaar hai

Usne kaha Mujh se kitna Pyaar hai
Maine kaha Sitaron ka koi Shumaar hai

Usne kaha kon Tumhein hai boht Aziz
Mai NE kaha Dil pe Jise Ikhtiyar hai

Usne kaha konsa Tohfa hai pasand?
Mai NE kaha Wo Shaama Jo AB tak Udhaar hai

Usane kaha sath kahan tak Nibhao GE?
Mai NE kaha jitni ye Saanson ki Taar hai

Usne kaha Mujh ko Yaqeen aaye kis tarah?
Mai NE kaha Mera Naam hi Aitbaar hai

************ *

Daddy Internet laga dein

Daddy Internet laga dein

Dil ka connection miladein,

Daddy Internet laga dein ,

Mujhe aaya mail dostoun ka,

Kab lagay Ga itna Bata dein



Homework pura hota nahi,

Raat ko mein sota nahi,

Jab mood ho parhai ka,

Homework koi hota nahi.



Net bhi hai kamaal cheez,

Bas aati ho agar chalani keys,

Waisay to bohot hai kaam is Kay,

Par chatting pe lagti nahi fees.



Aap kehte hain mein shor machaon Ga,

Try karo mein naraz na kar paon Ga,

Mein god promise karta Hun,

Net aap ke saunay ke baad lagaun Ga.



Saheli nahi meri,haan dost hi hotay hain,

Who saray ke saray school mein hi sotay hain,

Raat to guzarti hai net par typing kartay,

Subha bhi chat room mein hi hotay hain.



Ladkian bhi kamaal hoti hain,

Ghar pe apni misaal hoti hain ,

Saara kaam khatam karkay,

Das bajay saday naal hoti hain.



Ab to mujhe Internet lagadein,

Meri bhi mauj karadein ,

Mein bhi dhondta Hun cyber bahoo,

Aap bas nikah dot com karadein



********

Is anjnabi duniya mein

Is anjnabi duniya mein,Akela ek khawaab hu,

Sawaalo se khafa,Chhota as jawaab hu,

Jo na samjh sake,Unke liye "KOUN",

Jo samajh chuke,Unke liye kitaab hu ,

Duniya ki nazar mein,Jaane kyu chubha as,

Sabse nashili aur badnaam sharaab hu,

Sar uthakar dekho,Wo dekh raha hai tumko,

Jisko na dekha usne,Wo chamakta aaftab hu,

Aankh se dekhoge,To khush paoge,

Dil se poochoge,To dard ka sailaab hu .........!!! !

******

Unconditional love

Unconditional love

Some time ago, a friend of mine punished his 4 year old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the small child tried to decorate a box to put under the tree. Nevertheless the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said " This is for you Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction... He opened the box and his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

Then he yelled at her: DON'T YOU KNOW when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside of it??? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, Oh Daddy it's not empty, I blew kisses into the box , all for you Daddy. The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her for forgiveness. My friend told me that he kept that gold box near his bed for years.


Whenever he was discouraged he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses. '

There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

*********

*Hey Krishna*

*Hey **Krishna TU is kalyug mein AA kar to dikha....*

*Tune 18 saal ki umar me mama kans ko mara,*

*BIN LADEN ko hath laga kar to dikha..*

*Tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,*

*Mere Branch Manager se ek baar baat kar ke to dikha. .*

*Tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaaya*

*Indian Cricket team ka Coach ban ke WorldCup jitaake to dikha..*

*Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saree pehnai,*

*Mallika sherawat ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha..*

*Tune gokul ki 1600 gopiyan patai,*

*Meri company ki sirf ek ladki ko pata kar to dikha..*

*Hey Krishna TU is kalyug mein AA kar to

*dikha..*

*************

Arab at US Embassy ( Just joke )

Arab at US Embassy ( Just joke )

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a Visa

Consul: What is your name?

Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?

Arab: Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?

Arab: both male and female and sometimes even camels

Consul: Holy cow!

Arab: Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

Consul: Man,........ isn't it hostile?

Arab: Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh.......... dear!

Arab: Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

Consul: Oh.......... God!

Arab: Ya, I know it's Good ..for the health

Consul: Guards .take him out

Arab: Guard is ok.but sir, I always do in not out

Consul: for God's sake..

Arab: sir I can shakes only living animal's .how can god's?

Consul: Get.. Out

Arab: ok..I will take it out .but sir you need here only...

***********

Maths

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy.

I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter,

I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this,

I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.


Don't wait up."

*********

Some humorus sign ads

Some humorus sign ads

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... Cheap....... ....no strings attached .

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ...

One Lung At A Time!Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.


When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off .

Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !

******

Joke

A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh... Well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The boy says, "That won't work. "

His mom says, "Why? "

The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"

*******

Therapy

Therapy

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this. "

"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

" Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor."

It worked all right. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does ."

******

Confusing Name

Confusing Name


An Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman " arrived at the New York airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hours for the authorities to call his name.

He got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet.

They said that they have been calling him for the last 2 hours as

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

"Anotherman Superman"

When I Asked God

When I Asked God

*

When I Asked God for Strength

He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

When I Asked God for Brain & Brown

He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve

When I Asked God for Happiness

He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

When I Asked God for Wealth

He Showed Me How to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Favors

He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Peace

He Showed Me How to Help Others

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted

He Gave Me Everything I Needed

* What Are They..!?*

* What Are They..!?*

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we sayDADDY':

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

LIPS

*********

2) What goes up & never comes down:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

AGE

**********

3) Patches over patches but no stitches :

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

CABBAGE

*********

4) What is that we cannot see, but is always beforeyou:

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

FUTURE

*********

5) What goes up & down a hill, but nevermoves:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

ROAD

*********

6) You can never wet it:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

SHADOW

*********

7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

YOUR NAME

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.Really****************

When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus:

A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes stepson your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....

why don't youtry again.

3. At a funeral:

One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:

When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement.

We occassionalyalso spit in it.

5. At a family get-together:

When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces

her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive...

it's just themoney.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phonecall...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulutribes in Africa marry or not.

You thought I was sleeping....

you dumbwitted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidentlyshorter hair...

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objectsin your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your officeasks...

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........

it was a piece of chalk and nowit's in flames!!!

*Desi Dava*

*

*

Q : **Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha ?**

A: Adidas.

************

Q: How do u CUT roads?????**

A: By LAUGHING..... Because "Haste haste cut jaye raste".

************

Q: What will u call a person who is leaving India??**

A : Hindustan Leaver.

************

Q: What will u call a person who leaves India, but doesn't travel much??**

A: Hindustan Leaver Limited.

************

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "*

*A: Santa bola, " Pehle date of birth to batao."

************

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?*

*A: Because it was an entrance exam.*

**********

*Q: What's Ford?*

*A: Gaadi.*

**********

*Q: What's Oxford?*

*A: So simple, Bail Gaadi*

**********

*Q: Whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumpingfrom 10th floor?**A: Former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa, the later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)*

**********

*Q: Other than being fruits, what is common between an apple and an orange?*

*A:They both are not a banana !!*

**********

*A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.*

*Guess why ? **Because

there it waswritten*

* "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

*Zodiac Signs and the way they Kiss*

*Zodiac Signs and the way they Kiss*

*Aries*: Your kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasure thatare there and then gone.

*Taurus*: Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can goon and on and on.

*Gemini*: Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funnyobservations.

*Cancer*: Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let themgo.

Leo*: Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing, you expectapplause for your performance.

*Virgo*: Your kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices themonce you've finished.

*Libra*: You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into yourkisses.

*Scorpio*: You skip the kiss and get straight to whatever comes next foryou.

*Sagittarius*: Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leavethe kissed wanting more.

*Capricorn*: Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from thestress of your day.

*Aquarius*: Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyesopen.

*Pisces*: Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous andlonglasting.

******

*INTERESTING YET FUNNY*

*

* You can become an engineer if u study in Engineering college .. U cannotbecome a president if u study in Presidency College !

*************

You can expect a BUS from a BUS stop... You cannot expect a FULL from FULLstop.

*************

A mechanical engineer can become a mechanic but a software engineer cannotbecome a software!

*************

You can find keys in Key board but you cannot find mother in mother board.

*************

You can study and get any certificates. .. But you cannot get your deathcertificate.

I can sleep when the w ind blows

I can sleep when the w ind blows

Years ago , a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast.

He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic . They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic , wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.

As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received A steady stream of refusals.

Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. " Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him. "Well, I can sleep when the wind blows, " answered the little man.

Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, Hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!"

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows .

"Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm.

To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred.

The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down.

Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

******

When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

******

Silly and funny!

Silly and funny!

Q: What did the lonely banana say?

A: I'm a"kela".

Q: What did the green peas say?

A: Nothing. They just "mutter"Ed.

Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?

A: "Aaloo? "

Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?

A: In the Gobi desert.

Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?

A: Why do "phools" fall in love?

Q: What did the fat car say?

A: I`m a "mota"car.

Q: What did the confused egg say?

A: I don't "unda"-stand.

Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?

A: "Jhinga" Bells.

Q: What did the half eaten naan say?

A: I wish I was "puri".

Q: What did the lonely potato sing?

A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"

Q: What language do carrots speak?

A: Gajar-ati.

Q: What do you call an almost bald poet?

A: I-bal.Dis ij DA funkiest...

Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it would move?

A: Pizza - "HUT"

******

Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

************ **~*

2.Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

************ **~*

3. OK.... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

************ **~*

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

************ **~*

5. There are three religious truths:

A. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

B. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

C. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

************ **~*

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

************ **~*

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

************ **~*

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

************ **~*

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

************ **~*

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

************ **~*

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

************ **~*

12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

************ **

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

************ **

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

************ **

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

************ **

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me....they're cramming for their final exam.

************ **

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

************ **

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

************ **

19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

************ **

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

************ **

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

************ **

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

************ **

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

************ **

24.As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?

************

Hearing Problem

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid .

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her , and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

"That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.

He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens ." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN !"

Family problem

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shotafter shot.

The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing me toget married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't evenmet once.

We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to marry a woman whom I don'tlove...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.



"The American said, " Talking about love marriages?... I'll tell you mystory.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter andso my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.



More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother andso he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now myfather's son I.e. My brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.


And you say you have family problems.. ?

Ek taraf se DOLI uthi

Ek taraf se DOLI uthi, khushioun aur shehnaion ke sath,

Ek taraf se ARTHI uthi, gamo aur tanhaiyon ke sath,

Dono takra gaye, dekhne wale chakra gaye,

Bheed me se awaz ayee ya khuda ye kaisi khudai hai

MEHBOOB ki doli dekhne YAAR ki arthi ayee hai.

******

Poem

*Ghar walo ka kehna hai *

*k DIL LAGA KAR PADHAI KARO.

Unhe koi kaise samjhayek

DIL LAGANE K BAAD

padhai kahan hoti hai.

*

*

Kash koi "exam result" ka insurance kara deta

*

*

to har exam ke pehle premium bharwa deta.

Pass hota to thikwarna insurance claim karwa leta.

*

*

*

*

~

~

~

~

*

*

*

*

*

*

Na wakt hai itna ki sylabus pura kiya jae

*

*

na tarkib koi ki exam pas kiya jae.

Na jane kaun sa dard diya hai is padhai nena roya jayeaur na soya jaye.

*

*

*

*

~

~

~

~

*

*

*

*

*

*

Hum jeete ek bar hai, *

*

marte ek bar hai,pyar ek bar hota

hai,aur shaadi bhi ek hi bar hoti hai

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

*

*

.

*

*

.

*

*

.

*

*

.

*

*

.

TO fir ye

.

.

.

*

*

.

EXAMS BAAR-BAARKYUN .. ??*

The problems of "HE" and "SHE"..*

The problems with "HE" as thought by "SHE"

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't, he says u are from VILLAGE.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS .

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u DON'T LOVE him;

If u DO!! He says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u DON'T, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAIN.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u,

u are tooSENSITIVE!

*********

Lunch With God

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They satThere all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, " I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, "Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied! "I ate potato chips in the park with God." However, before her son responded, she added, " You know, he's much younger than I expected.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of
Which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime! Embrace all equally!

******

INTERESTING YET FUNNY

INTERESTING YET FUNNY



* You can become an engineer if u study in Engineering college ..U cannot become a president if u study in Presidency College !

*************

You can expect a BUS from a BUS stop... You cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.

*************

A mechanical engineer can become a mechanic but a software engineer cannot become a software!

*************

You can find keys in Key board but you cannot find mother in mother board.

*************

You can study and get any certificates. .. But you cannot get your death certificate.

************

Shaadi Ke Pehle Aur B aad

Shaadi Ke Pehle Aur B aad



Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote :(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote :)

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya :)
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai :)
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai :)
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye :)
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge :)
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi :)
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap :)
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic :)
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? :)
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss :)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani :)
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi :)
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen :)
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain :)
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun? :(

*******

*Kuch nahi milta*

*Kuch nahi milta*

*Kisi **ki aankh sey sapney chura kar kuch nahi milta*
*Mandiron sey chiragon ko bujha kar kuch nahi milta*
*

*
*Koi aik aadh sapna ho to phir accha bhi lagta hay*
*Hazaron khuwab ankhon main saja kar kuch nahi milta*

*
*
*Yeh accha hay Kay aapas Kay bharam na tootne payein*
*Kabhi kabhi doston ko azma kar kuch nahi milta *
*
*
*Amal ki sookhti rag main zara as khoon shamil kar*
*Mere humdam faqat batein bana kar kuch nahi milta*

*Mujhey aksar sitaron sey yeh awaz aati hay*
*Kisi Kay hijar main neendein ganwa kar kuch nahi milta *
*

*
*Jiggar ho jayega chalni yeh ankhein khoon say royengi*
*Ae dil Befaiz logon sey nibah kar kuch nahi*milta

3 wishes

3 wishes

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing Tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client.

The Client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is Quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her... Don't Reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the King from wanting to marry her.

So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you Under three conditions.

First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat Diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."

The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No Problem!! I have. I have.

"Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I Want you to build me a 100-room mansion in London. As a vacation home, I Want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."

The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone & calls Some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head And says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."

Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that She'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think & finally she Gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the Man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to Have a 14-inches."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his Elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking Really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut.

************ ****

Shaadi Ke Pehle Aur Baad

Shaadi Ke Pehle Aur B aad

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote :(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote :)

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya :)
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai :)
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai :)
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye :)
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge :)
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi :)
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap :)
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic :)
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? :)
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss :)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani :)
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi :)
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen :)
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain :)
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun? :(


*******

E- Mail

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decidedto send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mailaddress, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile... .Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from herhusband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages fromrelatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed intothe room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen whichread:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2007

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and weare allowed to send e-mails to lovedones.

I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything hasbeen prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby

.........

God is in joking mood

God is in joking mood

A man was praying to god.

He said, "God ?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the Guy said, " Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead", God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "A million years to me is only a second."

The man wondered.Then he asked,

"God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

So the man said,

"God can I have a penny ?"

And God cheerfully said,

"Sure!....... just a second ."

********

God is in joking mood

God is in joking mood

A man was praying to god.

He said, "God ?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the Guy said, " Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead", God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "A million years to me is only a second."

The man wondered.Then he asked,

"God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

So the man said,

"God can I have a penny ?"

And God cheerfully said,

"Sure!....... just a second ."

********

What is marketing

What is marketing

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me! " - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: " He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: " Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! Me?" - That's Brand Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - " That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets "

******